It's Time
by Medford
Summary: An obscure fic where Gokou, Vegeta and Piccolo end up with a new hobby.


Untitled 

Warnings: This fanfiction contains adult language and content. The author does not condone the use of drugs by anyone. Read with an open mind and a smile on your face. 

Disclaimer: Dragon Ball Z belongs to Toriyama Akira-sensei. And to Toei, Funimation and whoever else. 

Enjoy, 

Medford 

*** 

It's Time 

"Shit!!" Vegeta screams, flinching in his seat. 

"What is it!?" Gokou asks. 

He shakes his head. "Whoa..." 

"Delusional, again?" Piccolo asks matter-of-factly. 

"Shut up, Namek! ...But I could've sworn," He begins to point to the wall in a frantic manner. "Fucking Majin Buu was standing RIGHT there." 

"Gosh, Vegeta." Gokou scratches the back of his head. "You haven't even had that much, have you?" 

"Ha!" The prince throws his royal head back. "There's plenty more where that came from. Hand me my weapon." He extends his hand. 

Gokou looks down. "Uh, it's cashed." 

"WHAT!?" 

"That's the... what? Third time you've done that to Vegeta." Piccolo smirks. "No wonder he hates you." 

"The goddamn Namek's right! Not only must I always be ONE step behind Kakaroto in power, the little bitch keeps handing me cashed weed!" Vegeta squints his eyes in frustration. "It's like you enjoy watching my inner-torment!" 

"Whatever, Vegeta." Gokou sighs. "You're being paranoid again." 

"I am not fucking paranoid!!" He glances over his shoulder to make sure the Japanese mafia isn't recording their conversation. He suspected they had been after him for weeks. 

*** 

Bulma clenched her fists. "Why do you always have to be the best, Vegeta?" 

"Because I AM the best! I realize it. I just need to get you fucking bastards to see it!" 

The couple continued their fight while Gokou and ChiChi watched in annoyance. 

"You see, Gokou?" ChiChi placed her hands on her hips. "THIS is why I don't like your friends coming over to visit." 

Vegeta gasped in revulsion. "Friends... With... Kakaroto!?" He burst into mocking laughter, while Gokou subtly frowned. 

Bulma glared at the other woman. "Wait... What are you implying, ChiChi?" 

She shook her head. "No, not you, Bulma... just..." 

"What!? The Prince of Sayai-jin is not good enough to be under the roof of a pathetic lower-class warrior!?" 

"Oh, I see." Replied Bulma. 

"Now, Vegeta..." Gokou smiled. "You know you're welcome in my house." 

"What!? Are you implying that the Prince of Saiya-jin would stoop so low as to set his foot into the house of a third-rate Saiya-jin!?" 

A sweat drop slid down Gokou's face. "Nevermind." 

"Why are you always so unreasonable!?" Bulma demanded. 

"UNREASONABLE!?" Deep breath. "The only thing unreasonable here is that you dragged me to Kakaroto's house to be insulted by his wife in the name of fucking friendship on our goddamn anniversary!!" 

"It's... Our anniversary?" Bulma's eyes twinkled. 'He remembered but I...' 

"You forgot!? Well, that fucking figures!" 

"Anni... But," ChiChi scratched her head. "You guys aren't married." 

"Some people don't need a piece of paper to prove they're in love." 

"But apparently they need one to remind them of special occasions!" The prince shook his head in annoyance. "It's a damn good thing you're father reminded me!" Oops... 

Bulma's face darkened. "So, you didn't remember either!?" 

"I see your parents are at it again." Goten commented to Trunks. 

The two boys stood near the foot of the stairs, observing the adults' behaviour. Their hands still intertwined. 

"Hey, guys! How's it going?" Gokou smiles, cocking his head to the side. 

Trunks' eyes widened. 'Dad's here?' He cautiously removed his hand from Goten's grasp. 'Did he see...?' 

He didn't. "Yea, your father!! Do you fucking remember me!? Obviously not since you spend all your damn time here now!" 

"Hey, Trunks is welcome here." ChiChi replied. "Just not you when you're acting like this!" 

"LIKE WHAT!?" 

"I rest my case." 

Bulma turned to her son, "Trunks, did you remember it was your father and my anniversary today?" 

"...Yes... Wait, leave me out of this!" 

Goten giggled. "Lord knows Trunks has enough romance troubles of his own to worry about." The lad tossed his head. "Oh yea, mom, can I borrow some money? We're going to a movie." 

Vegeta suspiciously eyed his son, who smacked Goten in the back of the head. By an act of God, the door opened at that precise moment and a new guest entered the house. 

ChiChi's ki began to flare. "Speaking of your friends I dislike..." She hissed. 

"Hiiii, Piccolo!" Gokou waved merrily. "What're you doing here?" 

"Uhm, I was wondering if Gohan was here." 

"He's not at his house?" 

"If he was at his house than I'd be there right now wouldn't I?" 

"Oh." 

"And WHY are you looking for Gohan?" ChiChi loomed over Piccolo. 

"That's between me and him." 

A look of hate flashed through her eyes. "Is that so...?" 

Gokou closed his eyes, groaning, "Can't we just get along...?" 

*** 

Piccolo drums his fingers on his lap. "So... Are you going to keep bitching or are you going to let me reload the bong?" 

Vegeta's face relaxes. "Ah. Here you go." He surrenders the purple double chamber, pullout water pipe to its rightful owner. 

"Thank you." Piccolo sets it to his side. He then picks up the sandwich bag 1/2 full of chronic and pulls out a good-sized bud. The Namek skillfully breaks apart the plant in his hands. 

Gokou watches in admiration. "Wow, Piccolo. You're really good at this." 

"What I want to know is," Vegeta remarks thoughtfully, "How does the former Kami-sama of Earth become a fucking druggie?" 

"The way he loads a bowl, it must've been a divine revelation." Gokou chuckles. 

Piccolo laughs as well. "Actually, it was one of you mere mortals that taught me everything I know about ganga." A warm smile crosses his face. 

*** 

Around a month ago, somewhere in the wilderness, Gohan made his way to his secret growing grounds. It was an ideal location for growing marijuana; a fact that the herb Gohan grew would testify to. 

'Harvest time...' He thought to himself proudly. As he walked forward, he recalled when he first discovered that spot. There he had trained little Goten and his future wife, Videl. 

And thus, one hobby would take the place of the other. Now, Gohan still enjoyed martial arts, but these days he spent all his time as a scholar. Therefore, he needed something more to take his mind off of things. 

His usual grin became downcast. "Let's just hope there isn't a cop near the area like last time." He nodded. "I don't know what could be worse than getting caught." 

Earlier that day, on Dende's lookout post, Piccolo rose from his slumber. He scooted out of bed and walked to his dresser, taking from it his cape and turban. Arranging his garments in the usual manner, 

Piccolo then proceeded to glance at his Daily Quotes of Wisdom 

Calendar. 

"Only by trying something new do you experience a new thing." The pages said. 

"I see. Must try something new today." He scratched his head. "But what?" He sat upon his bed and began to think. "Ah! I'll locate a new place to meditate." 

With that announcement, he left his room. 

He walked through the gardens on Dende's lookout searching for the perfect spot. Nothing was quite to his liking. He decided to try an indoor location. 

'How about in here...' Piccolo opened the door to Dende's Room of Spiritual Purity. 

"What's my name, bitch!?" 

"Y-you are Kami-sama." 

Dende ruthlessly lashed his leather strap across Mr. Popo's shoulders. 

"What was that!?" To prove his disdain he ground his spiked black heels into the poor chained-up man's back. 

"Ow! Kami-sama! Kami-sama!!" 

Piccolo silently shut the door, an expression of complete confusion on his face. 'I need to get out of here...' 

Back on earth, Gohan continued his trek towards his growing site. He repeated his earlier thought. "Yes, nothing would be worse than getting... Shit!" Gohan dove behind a tree. 'Oh no...' He began to sweat. 'What is Piccolo doing in my spot?' He nervously peeked from behind his hiding place. 'And, goddamnit, he's sitting on one of my plants!' 

Piccolo sensed the familiar ki. "Gohan?" 

He didn't respond. 'Maybe if I...' 

"No, I won't be convinced that you're not really there if you ignore me." 

'...Damn.' He stepped out from behind the tree. "Hi there, Piccolo!" 

"So, what brings you to my spot?" 

Gohan twitched. "Er, actually, this is MY spot." 

"That's nice." Piccolo turned his gaze back toward the horizon. 

"Uhm... Do you think you can at least get off that plant." 

"What plant?" He asked, turning in his seat so that the herb was mangled beneath his ass. "Oh, THAT one." He scooted over. 

Tears filled Gohan's eyes. "You killed Mary..." 

"...What the hell are you talking about?" 

"The plant's name was Mary. That one's Tito." 

"So, you come here everyday and name plants?" He raised an eyebrow. 

"No, not everyday." He paused. "Though I wish... Just every so often when it's harvest time." 'Dear God! Why did you just tell that to him?' 

"Harvest?" Piccolo held a piece of Mary in his hand. "These plants... 

One of your meaningless experiments or do they have a purpose?" 

"Well..." The young adult smiled. "A little of both." 

And from that moment on, Piccolo and Gohan's friendship would take a unique turn. 

"Good." Gohan said, as he opened his door. "I think Videl and Pan are out for a while. You see, I'm technically not supposed to smoke in the house anymore because Videl ended up quitting because of Pan. So, we won't mention this to them, okay? And also it'd be best if the others didn't know either. Especially my mother." Gohan shuddered at the thought. "Or dad. Or grandpa. Goten already knows, so he's okay. And..." 

"Can we just smoke this shit already?" 

Gohan smiled. He knew there was a reason he liked Piccolo. It was probably that whole saving his life thing. 

"Well, this here still needs to dry." He made his way across the room. 

"But I already have some... right here!" With that he produced a dime sack from his desk drawer. He then reached behind his desk to get his purple double chamber, pullout water pipe. "Ah, Kaioshin!" 

"Huh?" 

"Kaioshin." He held up the pipe. "He's my favourite bong." 

"Heheh. Does the real Kaioshin know there's a... 'Bong' named after him?" 

"Actually, he's the one who gave it to me." He replied as he began to load the bowl. "Can you turn that fan on?" 

"Uh, sure." 

"Now," Gohan sat upon his bed next to the Namek. "What you do is place your mouth to the top and once you light the bowl, you inhale until smoke fills the chambers and then," Gohan removed the stem from his bong. "You pull it out like this while taking a deep breath in." He placed the stem back in its hole. 

"I think I understand." Piccolo reached out to take the pipe in his hands. He let out a breath and proceeded to light up the bowl. 

'Wow! I NEVER thought I'd see the day where I'd smoke out with Piccolo.' 

Piccolo removed the stem, clearing the chambers. 

'Not bad at all for a first toke.' As Gohan watched the Namek's serene statement an idea began to form in his mind. 'Y'know... With his naturally calm demeanor and philosophical personality, Piccolo would make a perfect stoner. Yea... Yea, I can see it! With the right training, he could out-smoke us all some day.' 

Suddenly, Piccolo, his face an awful blue colour, began to hack and cough. 

"Are you o... Shit! How long did you hold that in?" 

"Huh?" Asked Piccolo between coughs. 

"It's good to hold your breath after taking a hit but if you do it too long you'll choke." 

"...You never told me to exhale..." 

Gohan stared at his mentor in disbelief. And then began to laugh. 

"I don't think that's... Heheheh. Although, heheh, that is kinda funny." 

It wasn't long before the two tokers were laughing together and after many more hits, they had an in-depth discussion on whether or not we really are just dust in the wind. 

"Yep, Piccolo..." Gohan attempted to light the bowl but set a small pillow on fire. "Damn... Uhm, yea, you have a lot of potential." 

He grinned. "And I'm gonna show you how to use that potential." 

*** 

"Mere mortal!?" Vegeta pounds his fists into the ground. "I am the fucking Prince of..." He stops, looking over his shoulder. "Did you just fucking hear that?" 

Gokou holds his hand to his face, exasperated. "God, Vegeta..." 

"Yes I am. And I command you to make me brownies?" 

Gokou's eyes light up. "Brownies... Food! We need lots of food and we need it NOW!" 

"That's a GREAT idea!!" Vegeta exclaims. 

"Yea!! We'll have brownies and pretzels and rice and..." 

"Cookies and miso soup and chicken and..." 

"Cinnamon rolls and watermelon and..." 

Piccolo shakes his head. "I don't believe this..." 

"We can even have 'seasoned' food." Vegeta chuckles. 

"Mmmmmm! Weed is SO good in food! And whoever made it look like oregano, deserves a lot of thanks." 

Vegeta nods. "Hear, hear!" 

*** 

"Da-yamn!" Trunks exclaimed as he blew the smoke out. "Your brother grows the best weed in Japan, Goten!" 

"Uh huh!" He took the pipe from his friend's hand. "He's our very own ganja guru." He said with pride. He lit up the pipe and took a hit. 

"You wanna know a secret, Trunks?" Goten leaned in closer. "Apparently, 

Gohan's been smoking out with Piccolo these days." 

"Really? That's tight!" 

"Yea. Especially since Gohan hasn't had anyone to smoke with since 

Videl quit." 

"Yea, that's a woman for you." Trunks stated coolly. "Gets you started on an addiction and leaves you hanging and without drug money." 

Goten nodded in agreement. "And he doesn't want to smoke with me cuz he's scared mom will find out." He began to light up the bowl again. 

"True. Your mom's one scary bitch. HEY!!" Enraged, Trunks snatched the pipe from Goten's hand. "How dare you steal my turn!" 

"S-sorry." Goten stammered obediently. 

"It's okay." He smirked. "You'll just have to make it up to me." 

"How?" 

"It's a little trick... When I exhale, you inhale." 

"Huh? But..." 

As Goten watched, confused about this supposed trick, Trunks lit up and took a long drag. Goten's eyes grew wide with more confusion when 

Trunks took Goten's face in his hands and leaned forward, parting his lips open with his own and slowly exhaling the smoke into his mouth. 

The older boy then withdrew. 

"Aw, our first kiss." He winked. 

"Oh, Trunks..." Goten sighed, blowing the smoke out. 

"Uhm..." He raised an eyebrow as he glanced downward. "Fuck, dude. You get turned on at the drop of a dimesack." 

"Oh!" Blushing, Goten crosses his legs. "S-sorry about tha..." 

"No, no. That's quite alright." Trunks set the pipe down and slowly leaned forward again. 

"Hey, Goten?" Gokou called as he flung the door open. 

"Shit!" Trunks scooted back from Goten and without hesitation, stuffed the pipe down his pants to conceal it. 

"Oh, you're here, too, Trunks. Hey!" 

"H-hello, Gokou." He nervously waved, partially due to the situation and partially due to having just hid a hot ceramic pipe in his pants. 

"Uh?" Gokou looked at the boys, then downward. "I..." Clearing his throat, he continued, "Hope I wasn't interrupting anything..." 

"Ahahaha! No, of course not, Dad." 

Gokou shook his head. 'Why can't they do their cuddling at Trunks' house?' An image of Vegeta flashed in his mind. '...Oh.' 

"Well, Goten," Gokou began in his fatherly tone, "I needed to talk to you about something." He paused, searching for the words. "Goten... 

I know what you're up to." 

The boys' faces froze in horror. He knew? 

"D-dad, I can explain..." 

Gokou held out his hand. "No need. I know why you do it and, honestly, 

I can't blame you, but... That still doesn't make it right, son." 

He hung his head, shamefully, "I know, dad, but... Well, everyone else was doing it. Even Trunks." 

Trunks, caught in the middle of stealthily removing the pipe from his pants, jumped and exclaimed. "Goten!?" 

"It's okay, Trunks. I already suspected you did it as well." The lad's eyes grew wide. "But don't worry, I won't tell your father. I'll let him deal with it when he finds out." He took a breath. "Now, boys... Huh?" He took another breath. "Mmmmm... What's that smell?" 

Goten reluctantly replied, "Actually dad... we were in the middle of doing it when you arrived." 

"I know, I saw." He looked downward to prove his point. "Oh, wait! You mean doing..." He chuckled nervously. "Heheh, right." 

Trunks slapped his hand to his forehead, while Goten blushed, again crossing his legs. 

Gokou looks around. "But... It doesn't look like you were doing anything suspicious... Hmmm, anyway, I just wanted to let you know. So try to be more careful in the future." 

Goten blinked a couple times. "Say, dad, I'm kinda surprised you're taking this so well." 

"Yea, well, it's not like it's a felony or anything." 

"...Actually, it is." Trunks pointed out. 

"WHAT!? A felony?" Gokou grew frantic." But... I mean, well... I've done it, too!" 

Their mouths dropped. "WHAT!?" 

"Dad!? You... smoke marijuana?" 

"...Mari-what?" Gokou curiously cocked his head to the side. "No... I, uh, thought we were talking about not refilling the ice tray when it's empty." 

At that moment, Goten experienced an emotion that can only be described as 'Oh shit.' 

But it didn't end that way. After a touching conversation between the three, Gokou received an amazing revelation. 

"Jesus Christ!! You can EAT this stuff!" 

"Er, uh, yea." Goten replied, while Trunks tried to keep Gokou from snatching their sack and devouring it. "Actually, dad. It'd be better off cooked in one of your favourite foods." 

And then something happened. Gokou had an orgasm. "This plant is amazing!!" He squealed. "It helps you concentrate your ki, it improves your mindset and you can EAT it!!" he leaped off the bed and bounded for the door. "I'm gonna tell ChiChi to cook some up right away!" 

Trunks looked over at Goten. "Well... That went pretty good." He smirked. "So, where were we?" 

He scooted next to his special friend. 

Goten dreamily shut his eyes. "Oh, Trunks... Trunks? Did he say he was gonna tell..." Terror engulfed Goten's mind. "DAAAAAAAAD!!!" 

*** 

Piccolo hands the bong to Vegeta. "Here." 

Vegeta examines the bowl. "What... That's it?" 

"Yea." 

"When you refilled for Kakaroto you gave him more than this!" 

Piccolo punches his fists together. "Fucking hell, Vegeta! Why is everything about Kakroto!? If you hate him than leave the goddamn bastard alone. That's what I do!" 

Gokou frowns. "I thought we were friends now, Piccolo." 

"Just because we're friends doesn't mean I have to like you." 

Within seconds they burst into laughter. Piccolo because of the comment, Gokou because a bird just shit on Piccolo's head and Vegeta because he was stoned. 

"Well, fine." Piccolo holds out his hand. "Here, I'll get you more." 

"No." 

Piccolo beats his head against the tree behind him in frustration. 

"I have a better idea..." Vegeta assumes his proud stance. "I am going to smoke this whole bowl... in one hit!" 

"Wow! The whole thing?" Gokou exclaims. "Nah uh. You'll choke." 

"Watch and learn, Kakaroto!" 

He lights the bowl and begins his inhale. The weed burns up, slowly fading down. Piccolo and Gokou watch in amazement, as Vegeta continues to breathe in. Finally, the bowl clears and Vegeta lowers the bong from his face. Looking right at Gokou, with a wicked grin, he lets all the smoke out. 

"Damn..." Whispers Gokou, enamored. "That was nice, Vegeta." 

"And now I am..." He boldly extends his hand, "The Prince of all Saiya-jin once again!" 

Laughter overflows from their set-up behind Gokou's house, as the haze from Vegeta's mighty toke rises to the sky. 

*** 

It was just a few short days, after Kakaroto's first experience. 

"Mm-mm-good!" Exclaimed Yamucha after inhaling the sweet perfume of his newly purchased chronic. "But I expect only the best from the richest man in Japan." He closed the sack. "So, who's your source?" 

Dr. Briefs lit another cigarette. "Some young guy with dark glasses and a turban." He said after a quick puff. "The, uh, Great Saiya-something." 

Yamucha scratched his head. "Nope, don't know him." 

"He's becoming pretty popular in the drug scene. They say him and his recently acquired associate grow such terrific plants by focusing their energy into the plant." 

"Hey, that's kinda like how we use ki blasts only less destructive." 

"Meow." Added the small black cat. 

"WOMAN!! For the last fucking time get me a drying cloth!" 

Yamucha shook his head. "Vegeta." 

"Get your own fucking TOWEL!!" 

And again. "Bulma." 

"Meow." Added the small black cat. 

"Really?" 

"That's it!!" Bulma shouted. "From this day forward if you want anything then you better get a fucking job!" She stomped off, slamming the door behind her. 

"Well, it's about time Bulma cracked down on him." He crossed his arms. 

"I don't know what she sees in him." 

"Y'know, that's a very good question." Dr. Briefs took out a pointer and made his way to the blackboard. "What does my daughter see in Vegeta?" He pulled down a chart. "Since humans walked the Earth, we've been searching for an answer to what makes two certain people compatible. And here," He points to the board. "We have a picture of the planet Jupiter. It is the largest planet in the solar system. Note the dark red circle in the middle. It is caused by..." 

Yamucha raised his hand. 

"Yes, Yamucha?" 

"I, uh, thought we were talking about Bulma and..." 

"FUCK!!" Vegeta exclaimed as he kicked open the door. 

"Vegeta," Dr. Briefs puts away the picture of Jupiter, "Here are the only two words you should say in your whole 'married' life..." 

On the blackboard, he wrote "Yes, dear." 

"Yea, 'yes, dear. Let me shove this broomstick up your ass!' God!!" He stomped a foot to the floor and angrily crossed his arms. 

"Well, maybe if you treated her with more respect..." Yamucha began. 

"Maybe if you had fucked her more often, I wouldn't be having this conversation!" 

Yamucha solemnly lowered his head. No matter what, he couldn't defeat 

Vegeta in combat, physically or mentally. 

"Now, Vegeta... If you would simply relax..." 

"I AM PERFECTLY RELAXED!!!" He bellowed, knocking Dr. Brief's and the little black cat to the ground. 

"Meow." She added. 

"Shut up." Muttered Vegeta. He punched his fists together. "If only me and Nappa had ignored what Raditz had said those long years ago... Then I wouldn't be stuck in this mess." 

"Stuck!?" Yamucha leapt to his feet. "Having two wonderful children with a wonderful woman like Bulma is stuck!?" 

It only took one glare from Vegeta to remind Yamucha to keep his place. 

"Well, you're just looking at it from the wrong angle, Vegeta. You need to re-adjust your perception." 

"My perception is flawless like me!" He hollered at Dr. Briefs. 

"Well, Vegeta..." He nearly slipped an arm around his "son-in-law" but soon realized it'd be a mistake. "What if I told you there was a way to stay your perfect self while... Altering your personality just a little?" 

"I'd say, 'fuck off.'" 

A look of realization crossed Yamucha's face. "Dr. Briefs, you can't be serious!?" He pointed to their table. "Vegeta smoking grass!?" He scoffed. "I've never seen such a arrogant, violent person anywhere near this sacred plant!" 

It took an hour and a half before Yamucha had spoke too soon. 

"Ahahahahaha!!" Vegeta roared. "And then... Haha! My father told 

Freeza, 'Fuck you, Freeza. And you're little Dodoria too.' Ahahahaha!" 

Dr. Briefs and Yamucha had long since joined in his laughter. 

"Meow." Added the small black cat. 

"Yes, some ramen would be great right now!" Yamucha sighed. 

"Hey, maybe Trunks is around... TRUNKS! Get us some ramen or I'll burn a hole through your ceiling!" 

"Uh, isn't Trunks with his friend Goten?" Noted Dr. Briefs. 

"Fuck, you're right!" Vegeta growled. "What the hell!? He was at Kakaroto's pathetic son's house yesterday! And the day before! Why has he suddenly started spending so much goddamn time there?" 

"It's natural to want to spend time with the one you love." Yamucha pointed out. 

Vegeta scowled a dark, terrible scowl. "What?" He snarled with a fang bared. 

"Hey!" Dr. Briefs leaned over to whisper to Yamucha. "Trunks asked us not to tell his father about his social life." 

"Oh yea..." Yamucha laughed. "...Training with! It's natural to spend time with the one you love training with!" 

A grin spread ear to ear on Vegeta. "I'm so proud of my son..." 

Bulma opened the door. "Hey, dad, sorry to interrupt your deal, but..." 

Her eyes widen. "Yamucha!?" 

"Bulma!?" 

"Vegeta!?" 

"Where?" He laughed and took a long hit from their joint. 

"Oh, I see..." Her face darkened in rage. "You only wanted to still be friends so you could get to my father!" 

"No!" Exclaimed Yamucha. 

"And you! I tell you to get a job and you're sitting here getting high!?" 

"It sounded like a plan." Vegeta replied coolly. 

"What's wrong with me!?" Tears filled her eyes. "Why do I always end up with such fucked up guys." She stormed off. 

"No, Bulma, wait!" Yamucha proceeded to crawl after her on his knees. 

"Fucked up?" Vegeta stood up. "I love you enough to get out of my comfortable chair. How about that!?" He followed her out into the next room. "And I BETTER get some ramen for this..." 

And they were alone. 

"It is time!" The small black cat hissed. "Prepare the sacrifice." 

Dr. Briefs dropped to the floor, kneeling. "Yes, Oh High Lord." 

*** 

Vegeta begins to spin in a circle. "Iiii… Don fill no good no more…" He soon collapses over. 

Gokou doubles over in laughter. "HAHAHAHA!! You've had waaay too much, Veggie!" 

"Don... call me... VEGGIE!" He attempts to shoot a ki blast. A puff of smoke flies from his hand. "...Shit." 

"Yes," Piccolo takes the bong from Vegeta. "I think this session is over." 

"Already?" Gokou whines. 

Suddenly, a terrible noise surrounds them. 

Gokou leaps to his feet. He falls on his ass. "Damn." 

"What is...?" Piccolo scans the area. "Ah ha!" 

Vegeta lays passed out on the ground snoring. 

A sweat drop appears on the Namek's head. "...Yes, this session is definitely over!" 

"Okay... Well, thank you, Piccolo." 

"It was my pleasure." 

"I can't wait until we can all smoke together again." 

"4:20 tomorrow?" 

Gokou nods. "We'll be there..." He scoops Vegeta into his arms. "Assuming the almighty Prince of Saiya-jin is recovered by then." 

The two share a good, hearty laugh. 

"Alright... I'll see you two tomorrow." Piccolo begins his ascent. And then, mimicking a gesture used by hippies the world over, leaves with a final word. "Peace!" 

"Peace!" Gokou flashes the peace sign. Vegeta falls from his arms. "Whoops…" 

*** 

"Would you shut up with your goddamn peace crap, Kakaroto!" 

"Hey! Don't speak to my husband that way!" 

"We're just going to make our exit now..." Trunks turned and headed back upstairs, Goten following right behind. 

"Oh, but it's okay to flat-out tell my hus... my domestic partner that you dislike him!?" Bulma yelled back. 

"Er, well, It's true." 

"Like I don't know that." She took her place at the podium. "Like I don't realize that every person on Earth dislikes Vegeta, but you know what? ...Fuck you!" She raised her middle finger, to prove her point. "He may be an asshole but, damnit, he's my asshole!" 

Vegeta wiped a tear from his eye. "That's my bitch." 

"And at least I didn't marry the first boy I saw." 

ChiChi flushed scarlet. "I-it just so happens that Gokou and I love each other very much!" 

"True. Why else would he stay with someone like you?" 

ChiChi lounged forward, pushing Bulma with all her might. "You wanna fight!?" 

As the girls got into a shoving match the guys added their comments. 

"N-now, ChiChi... Honey? Calm down, dear." 

"Beat the shit out of her, Bulma! Make her suffer!!" 

"Uh, if Gohan's not here, I'm just going to..." 

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" The women shrieked simultaneously. 

And so, the men soon found themselves outside. 

"Women..." Vegeta scoffed. 

"I agree with you there, Vegeta." Gokou declared placing his hand on his shoulder. 

"Hey, down there!" 

Gokou looked up. "Oh! It's Gohan!" 

Piccolo's eyes lit up. 'Gohan?' 

He landed before them. "Hello, dad, Vegeta." After a quick bow, he turned toward Piccolo. "So, what are you doing all the way out here?" 

"I was trying to find you." 

"Well, why didn't you go to my house where we were supposed to meet?" 

"I did. You weren't there." 

"...Yes, I was." 

"Not when I was there." 

"I was home all day, Piccolo." 

"Enough with this bullshit!" Vegeta demanded. "Can you two make love elsewhere?" He dodged the ki blast hurled at him. "Hey, I'd just prefer if you two kept your private lives private, that's all." 

"Idiot. C'mon, Gohan." They began to walk away. 

"Make sure you use protection!" Vegeta dodged several ki blasts. "What? 

I'm only looking out for your well-being." As they made their way behind the house, he chuckled at the misfortune he had caused. 

But that didn't keep Piccolo from smiling as he asked, "You brought the shit?" 

"Of course!" Gohan smiled back. 

Meanwhile, Gokou nervously brought up a touchy subject. "Say... Have you ever considered improving how you see people who... are attracted to the same sex?" 

"Nope, don't think I'm going to do that." 

"But, the thing is... What if someone in your own family was gay?" 

Vegeta rolled his eyes and said plainly. "You're the fifth person this month to hint that Trunks was questioning his sexuality. What the hell's wrong with you people!? Just because he has purple hair and he hangs out with your stupid son doesn't make him a flamer!" 

"Yea... But what if it did?" 

"My son is as straight as an arrow!! Like his father and his father before him! The only ones in denial are YOUR fruity bastard sons!" 

Gokou blinked a few times, before realizing he'd be better off ignoring Vegeta. 

"Why don't we change the subject." Gokou mumbled, scratching his head. "Let's see... How is training going these days?" 

"What!? You're leaving the business?" 

Gohan nodded as every pot smoker in Japan cried out in anguish. 

"Yea. Videl decided she wasn't too keen on the idea anymore. She said that having former super-hero the Great Saiyaman turn into a drug lord would confuse the children of Satan City." 

"But you keep so many supplied." 

Thousands of people nodded in agreement. 

"That's the other reason I wanted to talk to you." Gohan cleared his throat. "Piccolo, I want you to take over the business for me." 

"What?" 

Thousands of people looked up in shock. 

Gohan smacked himself across the face. "Stupid hallucinations..." 

"So, you claim you've found a way to help you expand your consciousness and therefore improve your technique? Ha!" Vegeta threw his head back haughtily. "It just so happens that I, too, have discovered a way to do the same thing AND I can improve my ability to sense my opponent's thoughts." 

"Cool, Vegeta! Say, why don't we put your new ability to the test?" 

"...Uh, not right now." 

"Why not?" 

"Because I said so!" He glanced at his watch. 4:07. "Maybe later." 

"Okay." Gokou nodded and gazed into the horizon. "Hey, wait... Vegeta, when did you start wearing a watch?" 

"Huh?" Vegeta glanced down. "Uh, none of your goddamn... Kakaroto..." 

He pointed to Gokou's wrist. "When did you start wearing a watch?" 

"And that's all there is to it!" 

Piccolo put his notepad and pen away. "So, now I'm a full drug dealer." 

"Yep. Congratulations!" A sigh. "To think... About a month ago today, you choked on your first hit, but now... I know what they mean when they say a teacher's greatest joy is when he is surpassed by his student." He wiped a solitary tear from his eye. "Well, enough amusing ironies for one day. I'm gonna head out, but first..." He reached into his backpack. 

"Remember this?" 

Piccolo stared at the purple double chamber, pullout water pipe and smiled. "Well, if it isn't Kaioshin?" 

"Yes, if it isn't me?" Remarked Kaioshin as he descended from the heavens. 

Gohan shook his head. 'That's the last time I smoke out at Kuririn's house...' 

"Piccolo... I want you to have this." He handed it to him. 

After a thoughtful pause, Piccolo replied, "Thank you, Gohan." Then, sprouting Satanic horns, Piccolo held Kaoishin high above and shrieked evilly, eyes glowing red. "The poweeeer!! I have... THE POWER!!!" 

Lightning crashed through the sky and thunder resounded. 

"Uhm... Are you okay, Gohan?" 

"Okay!" Gohan snapped. "Yes... I'm fine..." He was pouring sweat. His blood was too thick for this place. "I really must be on my way." He started hovering. "See ya, Piccolo!" Smiling, he added. "Who knows, one day I may need a deal from you." 

"Of course you will." He waved goodbye to Gohan as he flew away. 

"WHAT!?!?" Vegeta roared. 

Gokou took a step back. "Er, I said... I said that…" He cocked his head to the side. "Wait… Vegeta... Do you... smoke herb too?" 

It was too late. 'How can this be? I discover a means to improve myself as a fighter and Kakaroto had discovered the same thing? A FEW DAYS BEFORE ME!?' 

Gokou clapped his hands together. "That's great! A fellow smoker!" 

'It's as if fate itself is mocking me! Constantly shoving Kakaroto's greatness in my face. Always reminding me that I am one step behind.' 

"Do you know what this means?" He chirped, his grin plastered on his face, "We have something we can agree on besides fighting!" 

'WHY!? For once, why can't I be the strongest? The best?' 

Gokou gasped. "That's it!" 

'Why must I always follow in Kakaroto's shadow!?' 

"Vegeta, I've got it!" 

'Why must I live each day in anguish, knowing I'll never be the greatest!?' 

"We should smoke out together!!" 

'Why...' 

The prince halted his train of thought. "What?" 

A footstep behind them drew their attention. There stood Piccolo, frozen. 

Gokou and Vegeta stared at him. And then their eyes trailed to the side. 

"Uhm... Nice bong, Namek." 

"Er... Th-thanks..." He sheepishly hid it behind his back. 

After another moment of uneasy silence, Gokou made his way between the other two. "Gentlemen," He said with a sly smile, placing a hand on their shoulders. "It's been a while since we all trained together." 

They looked down at their watches and nodded in agreement. 

They had two minutes to prepare. 

The End 

*** 

Yea, that was pretty strange, I'm sure. You could say it just all sort of came to me one day. Sort of a Half-Baked meets DBZ. 

Input from you guys is always appreciated. 

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